Today I posted the Buzzfeed story about Stephen A. Smith's week long suspension on facebook. Shortly thereafter, a dude posted this reply very quickly, like Jadaveon Clowney fast:

"I know what he meant. Didn't articulate it well and prob shouldn't have said it lol. Women push the line sometimes because they think men can't/won't hit them. Some women get drop kicked and arguably provoked it."

I wish that I were kidding and that this were some esoteric exercise in studying how men used to think about women or how patriarchy used to be a thing. Unfortunately this is real and it's the very idea that allows men to justify hurting women ("that bitch deserved it" being the most common manifestation thereof). 

If you're human - you probably think that's wrong. You might not know that 1.3 million women are victims / survivors of domestic violence every year (and those are just the reported cases, not the woman who "fell down the stairs". You might not know that 85% of victims are women. You might not know - but you know someone who has been a victim or the child of a victim of domestic violence. 

Part of the problem is that men feel like when they don't get what they want from a woman - it's okay to react violently. That's essentially what homeboy I quoted above really said. Some times a woman just pisses me off so badly, violates my standards of behavior so badly, that it's only right for me to hit her. 

Well no actually - that's not how it works. You can break up with her, or walk away or leave the situation, but no actually, you can't hit a woman AND you can't hit a woman and then blame her for it (legally or morally). I mean, I guess you can - but that makes you part of the problem. 

At this point I have only bad things to say about this dude, but this website is called Sports and Good, so I can save those for some profanity laced private conversations with my friends. What I can share is this:

So there are some athletes who don't actually think there's ever an excuse for hitting a woman (and also don't think it's cute to blame women for violence against them). Dear every coach ever - please teach this like 4 or 5 times a week. For real. 

Oh also - one snide comment, because I can't resist. NFL - it's cute that your players are in this video, but how about holding them accountable when there's video evidence of domestic violence. No slaps on the wrist - like real accountability? Kthanksbye! 

AuthorAdrienne Wallace